Marriage is a life commitment, and oftentimes we get lost in the roles that are played on the outside. Stepping back and taking a moment to remember what marriage really is and why we got married in the first place is important.
Surely, everyone has expectations. However, everyone, even your wife, we are only human. Marriage is not a job that has expectations. Marriage is a lifetime commitment to the person you love. So, let’s talk more about expectations within a marriage.
Should you Talk about it Before Marriage?
If your expectations are fundamental to you in the relationship, it’s essential to talk about them before marriage. Having an open talk about everything before marriage is important. This way, you both know what you’re getting into.
It’s also essential to ensure your expectations are healthy and do not involve the themes of enslaving your wife to household duties. Some healthy expectations are listed below.
- The relationship is exclusive and only between the two of you.
- Setting time aside for important dates such as birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries.
Should You Tell Your Wife Your Expectations?
It’s important to share everything involving your wife with her. However, do not hold back because overall, if your expectations are not something she’s interested in – it might change how she feels about you.
Open communication is one of the most important values in any relationship; if your relationships or even friendships lack communication, you risk the chances of those being successful.
Can You Improve it Together?
It is possible to improve things together regarding your expectations. However, if you want the relationship to work and your wife is not here for your expectations, accepting that will take time and effort.
If you are getting nowhere working on improving things together, marriage or couples professionals can help you both find even ground. It’s a great tool; some will embed therapy into their marriage agreement.
How Can You Tell If You’re Expecting Too much?
There are reasonable expectations, and there are expectations that are genuinely too much. We do not live in an era that keeps women in the house to cook, clean, and care for the children all day and for the rest of eternity.
Some women prefer it, and some do not. This is why it’s crucial to have an open conversation with your partner about if your expectations are too much. Listed below are some rather extreme expectations.
- Laundry is done, folded, and put away perfectly every day.
- Homemade hot meals on the dinner table every night at approximately 7 pm.
- You are not allowing your wife to hang out with friends or family.
When is the Best Time to Talk About it?
Talk about your expectations with your partner before you get married if it’s something you have not already discussed. Allow your wife time to make sense of what you expect from her, do not be pushy. The last thing you want is a divorce after getting married right away.
If it’s too late and you’ve already gotten married, the sooner you talk to your wife about it, the better. It might be better to speak to her about this in marriage therapy so you can both have guided assistance in processing everything together.
Final Thoughts on your Expectations of your Wife
Talk to your partner about any expectations you might have for her before marriage; if you have already been married and want to discuss your expectations, seek a marriage therapist to assist you if things do not go as expected.
Open communication is essential, especially if there are things you want to improve with your partner together. Ensure time is set aside for this specifically, especially if you want the relationship to work out better.