My Husband Puts His Hobbies Before Me – Things to Consider

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Man gaming sitting on a yellow couch and wife standing behind it - My Husband Puts His Hobbies Before Me

Everyone has a special hobby they like. Whether that be video games or outdoor sports, hobbies can be important for those who have a true passion for the things they love. 

Doing something you love can not only serve as something to do when you are bored, but it can also help you mentally, and depending on the hobby, it may help the individual physically.

What happens if your husband or partner puts his hobbies before you? Does he still love you? Should you make him stop in order to get more attention? Let’s talk about everything you need to know when handling this situation.


Why does your husband put hobbies before you?

There are multiple reasons your husband or partner might put their hobby before you, but first, let’s ensure that’s actually what’s happening. For example, is your husband continuously putting his hobbies first when it comes to planning multiple failed date nights?

Or are you just looking for a little extra attention from him and expect him to stay home with you instead of doing something he likes?

With that being said, if you have continuously failed date nights due to them wanting to pursue their hobbies, it might be because they are getting bored. Is dinner at that same diner you go to every weekend getting too repetitive? 

Do you need to change things up? Or are you just looking for more attention during the free time you both might have? A simple distraction-free conversation might help solve the problem if that is the case. 

Tell them how you feel. Then, you two might be able to find a solution that will make you both happy.


Do you need to tell your husband to give up his hobbies because he puts them before you?

There is a difference between feeling neglected and actually being neglected. Either way, the last thing you want to do is be controlling towards the things your husband or partner loves. 

So, for example, if you two have kids and he is always away – getting little to no connection with the children, it might be time to voice how you feel about that and ask him to take some more time with the children, but it’s never a solution to tell him to give them up completely.


How do you talk to your husband if he puts his hobby before you?

Communication is the best tool to utilize in a relationship. If you want to have a deep, meaningful conversation with your husband or partner about how you feel about the time he spends on his hobbies, schedule it. 

Find a time together that works well for both of you. Eliminate any possible distractions like leaving cell phones or other electronic devices in another room during the conversation in order to give each other undivided attention. 


When should you talk to your husband about putting his hobby before you?

The sooner, the better. It’s important not to hold things that will bother you all week, risking a chance for you to boil over in your feelings. 

Instead, find a time as soon as possible that works best for both of you, whether that be tonight or tomorrow morning. The sooner, the better.


What is the reason your husband puts his hobbies before you?

Everyone enjoys different things. It’s what makes us unique! For example, your husband or partner probably chooses to put a lot of time into their hobbies because they love them. 

If you feel like that is not the only reason, the best thing you can do is search for a marriage or couples counselor. 

These trained professionals can help you, and your husband or partner express your feelings in a safe and healthy way, resulting in both of you getting a piece of the pie.


Final thoughts on how to talk to your husband about what you think his priorities should be?

There are plenty of reasons your husband or partner might put his hobbies before you. The worst thing you could do about this is to tell him to give them up completely and not to do them anymore. 

Instead, look for a marriage or couples therapist to help mediate a healthy, productive conversation if your attempts for one have failed. This is the best way to ensure a happy ending for both of you.


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