When you walk down that aisle and promise your life to another person, the last thing you expect is to find yourself at odds with them. But through life, you may sometimes find that the one you love the most can easily become your enemy.
But there are many reasons why couples find themselves at odds, and often this is enough to lead them toward the divorce path. But if you are still in love but have this problem, what do you do?
If you are someone who finds that they still want to make it work, then keep reading. In this article, we will be able to give you some insight into why this happened and help you figure out if it is the end.
Why Does This Happen?
There are many reasons why a marriage may begin to feel like you versus them. But, unfortunately, many of them are the same as those that lead to a marriage failure, like incompatibility, commitment, communication, trust, and external challenges (like financial).
In this situation, when these issues have begun to arise, if there is no clear communication, it can easily cause friction between a couple. The buildup of these tensions can, in turn, lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction.
Having feelings of this nature will inevitably lead to the other individual in you as your enemy’s clear understanding of each other’s feelings is looking for.
Is This Common?
Common, average, and typical are all terms that don’t apply to relationships that commonly occur. Nothing really typical because every relationship is different.
In situations where communication of these emotions and feelings is allowed to be shoved down and not dealt with, feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction can build up.
In this situation, your partner being your enemy, begins to develop. This is because whenever you have these feelings, it becomes more about trying to predict what the other individual in the relationship will do, and it becomes an obstacle.
However, it doesn’t have to be this way if you can find a constructive and mutual way of communicating these feelings.
Should You Try to Fix Your Relationship?
Whether you should fix the relationship depends on whether you feel anything is left. Depending on where you are in this battle but with your partner, it could be something that is very worth saving.
However, if you’ve gotten to the point where both of you have resentments, and there is no for very little love present, perhaps it is time to consider parting ways.
Also, the situation is more challenging if there are children involved, making it harder to dissolve, which may make trying to fix the relationship more important.
However, fixing your relationship may not be good for either party if there are still feelings of resentment and a lack of communication.
How Can You Fix It?
If you feel that there is still something to salvage, then fixing it is a good idea. After all, you promised forever for a reason.
The most important thing to address when looking to fix this issue is the resentment that has inevitably risen and probably is the root cause of viewing your partner as the enemy. There are several ways you can look to address this issue, including:
- You need to allow yourself and your partner to feel. Part of the reason many marriages begin to feel like battlefields is because emotions and feelings are being stuffed down.
This, of course, breeds dissatisfaction as well as resentment. By opening up communication and making it a safe space to feel, you can alleviate a ton of that tension.
- One way to deal with recent events is, of course, to try to see things from your partner’s view.
This doesn’t mean you have to agree, but understanding where they come from may help improve communication. With better communication comes a more open, honest, and tension-free relationship.
- Of course, one thing you can do if the situation is out of hand and not something you can do on your own is to try therapy.
Often having a third-party perspective and a safe space to discuss your feelings is just the ticket to bringing the love back into your marriage.
When Should You Give Up?
Giving up on something you put your heart and soul into can be one of the most difficult things to do in life. So we are sure you want to try everything you can to make sure you give your all when it comes to your relationship.
But just like with everything else, knowing when to throw in the towel can be just as important.
Trying to continually save something that is done can be physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually draining. That means holding onto something dead can be unhealthy for you and your partner.
When and why to give up is a personal thing, but if there is no love left or you find yourself being intentionally cruel to get your revenge on the individual, this is a surefire sign that it’s time to give up and start the healing process so you can move on to find new happiness.
Final Thoughts on Your Spouse is Your Biggest Enemy
The last thing you want to do is think about the person that you promised to spend the rest of your life with and love forever as your enemy.
But unfortunately, there are situations and events that happen in many people’s marriages that cause dissatisfaction and resentment to build, and this can lead to that feeling.
Whether to fix the relationship or move on is really up to you. However, we certainly hope that our look at why these feelings occur and potential ways that you could fix them helps you in your decision-making process.