Why Doesn’t My Boyfriend Propose?

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Woman wearing blue jacket leaning her head on a guys shoulder - Why Doesn’t My Boyfriend Propose?

For many of us, when we fall in love and find that special someone, marriage finds its way to the forefront of our minds. That is because, for a lot of people in a loving relationship, marriage is the ultimate form of commitment.

So what do you do if that’s the way you feel, but your boyfriend has yet to propose? If your boyfriend hasn’t proposed, you may be wondering why. Is he not committed to the relationship?

Or is there some other reason? There could be a lot of reasons why your boyfriend hasn’t proposed.

Everything from fear of commitment to he’s just not ready for that level of commitment could be stopping him from popping the question.

What comes from this when it comes to how you view the relationship and if you view it as something that needs to continue is really up to you.

But we thought we’d give you some information and some of what may be causing the delay for you to make the right decision for you.


How Long is Too Long For Him to Not Propose?

The truth is there’s no definite time frame for the relationship to the next step and cement the longevity. However, on average most people look at one to three years as an appropriate time for there to be some consideration for marriage.

That said, the time frame depends on what you feel is right for you. If you’re starting to feel stagnant and that the relationship isn’t going anywhere like the relationship, then you need to say something.

It could be time for you to discuss whether this relationship is going anywhere and what you are looking for.

If you’re starting to have these feelings, it could also be a good time for you to sit down with your partner and discuss, if you haven’t already, what their idea of commitment is. You might be surprised at why it has been taking him so long to propose.


Should I Leave My Boyfriend If He Doesn’t Propose?

For some, marriage is a deal breaker! If this describes you, this could be a sign that your relationship isn’t moving in the direction you want it to before any decision is made.

There should be open and honest communication around marriage and the expectation of commitment.

There could be a lot of reasons why your partner hasn’t popped the question. So having this open and honest dialogue will allow you to better yourself if you are on the same wavelength when it comes to this part of relationships.

Once you’ve had that communication, you can then decide whether you want to move forward. (Or if you really feel that your relationship is moving in that direction, why not take the ball out of his court and just do the proposing yourself.)


How Long Does a Man Usually Wait to Propose?

The length of time it takes a gentleman to propose depends on him. Most experts say that typically a guy looks between a year or two into the relationship. Though this can vary, some may do it way sooner, and others may take longer.

If a guy is taking a while to report, there are most common reasons why it might take your guy a little longer to propose than you might like:


  • doesn’t believe in the institution of a marriage
  • fear of commitment
  • unsure of a future with you
  • may feel it’s too soon
  • trust issues
  • he’s unsure of your desire
  • incompatible goals for the future
  • trying to save up money


How Can You Tell If He’s Never Going to Propose?

If you believe that only truly achieved through the signing of that little piece of paper and the ceremony of you walking down the aisle, then understanding whether your partner is on the same page is important.

There are some surefire signs that you may be waiting, possibly forever, for him to propose.

Here is a couple of those:


  • always is evasive when the subject of marriage comes up
  • may have rapid mood swings or get defensive when this topic is brought up in conversation
  • Doesn’t bring you around his family and friends that much
  • not invested in your future goals and dreams
  • gives you an ultimatum or puts guideposts in place for when he will propose


Should You Talk About it?

If you’re feeling stagnant and stuck in your relationship and you want to progress further, like with any challenge in a relationship, communication is key. So before any major situations are decided on, there should always be a conversation.

You may not understand, but there could be a legitimate reason. Because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean that he does not intend to.

But through a good conversation, you should be able to see where each of you wants the relationship to go, and then from there, you can make a mature decision that will benefit both parties.


Final Thoughts on Why Doesn’t My Boyfriend Propose

If you’re in a committed relationship and have been for quite a while, it may be second nature produced soon. The next step is marriage. The only way to understand if you and your partner are on the same page is to address the issue.

There may be valid reasons why your partner hasn’t proposed to you yet, so make sure you have open communication so that you can understand this.