Why Do I Keep Looking for Love?

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Man and woman walking towards ocean water holding hands - Why Do I Keep Looking for Love?

Love Is All you need, right? We are inundated with songs about how love is the most important thing and that your life becomes complete once you find it.

Because of this, many of us pin our hopes and dreams on finding that love. We focus on it so much that when we cannot find love or lose it, we think there’s something wrong with us.

That may be the most traumatic event in your life when you find and lose it. Yet though we’ve been hurt and broken, many of us skip back up and continue looking for love. So why do we continue doing this?

There are many reasons, including a need for validation from someone else to cultural and societal pressures.

It is not bad to keep looking for love if you’re truly seeking companionship. But if you are doing it for validation, you may be doing more harm than good.

That’s why in this quick article, we’re going to take a look at why we keep looking for love, even if it’s eluded us or has broken us. Then, hopefully, I will be able to help you figure out what’s going on.


Is It Normal to Search for Love?

It is a normal human need to connect with others. We are social animals, and therefore finding others to share our lives with is something that almost everyone longs for. Even when love has escaped your grasp or has fallen apart, we continue to look for that connection.

Though not everybody feels the need, most of us do. That is not only on a biological basis but also on a societal and cultural basis. After all, it is drilled into us that finding someone that is your other half will complete you.


Why Do You Do it?

Why we search for love is dependent on the individual. Some are looking for companionship. That special someone to share their lives and goals with. Others may be looking for religious reasons because they feel it’s a necessity to get married and have a family.

It has been scientifically proven that humans are very social, looking for someone to spend their life with and share their hopes and dreams with, which is ingrained in us almost on a genetic level.

That, coupled with the societal and cultural aspects of focusing on the beauty of love, has created a society where searching for love is part of your life expectations.


How Can You Stop Constantly Looking for Love?

Though it seems that most of us are almost hardwired to search for love, sometimes the act of actively looking can almost be counterintuitive. After all, we’ve all heard the saying love finds you when you’re not looking, right?

So if that’s the case, then you’ve had an unlucky streak of trying to find love. Maybe this thing to do is just stop looking and let it find you. Here are a couple of ways that you can stop always looking for love that may open you up to finding it:


  • Instead of looking outward for love, start focusing on really loving yourself. Challenging yourself and focusing on self-care will build self-confidence and attract that special person.
  • Maybe a good option would be to get rid of dating apps. Simply spending time with your friends and family could potentially take the stress off and allow you to be more open and honest with your feelings and truly be yourself.
  • Word appearance and focus on crafting inner beauty. We’re not saying stop showering. Put less stress on that aspect of your physical appearance and more on your inner beauty.
  • Take time for yourself. Spend time with you and you alone. Go for a walk, take yourself on a spa day, or even on a quick vacation. Anything you can do to put the focus back on yourself is a good thing.
  • Try to find a new hobby or skill or something you’re passionate about to fill the time that you would use fretting over whether you’re ever gonna find love.


Should I Stop Looking for Love and Focus on Myself?

The truth is you’ll never find love or real and long-lasting love if you don’t love yourself. So the very first step, as we said above, should be to really focus on trying to learn to love yourself.

Build yourself confidence and self-worth, and that inner glow that comes from that could be a beacon to your special someone.

Understanding that spending time by yourself and getting to know yourself will help you know what you’re looking for in love could perhaps make finding love much easier. So concentrate on yourself; perhaps you may just run into the love of your life.


How Many Times Do Most People Fall in Love?

Some people seem to fall in love at the drop of a hat. At the same time, others struggle to find love just once. But on average many studies show that most people will fall in love three to four times. Each of these times is a specific chapter in one’s life.

You have the first love, which is typically your schoolyard crush. The second love it’s usually more challenging. The third and fourth left tend to be ones you never saw coming. This is looked at as often the final love and the effortless one.


Final Thoughts on Why Do I Keep Looking for Love

Searching for love is not a bad thing. After all, companionship and having someone to share your life’s goals and dreams with and events can be very gratifying. But you may need to pull back on the reins a little.

Instead of forcing something, allow whatever powers that be that you believe in to guide you. Sometimes when you are so focused on something, it pushes that energy away. So by pulling back a little, you may just be opening yourself up to find that one true love.