Why Do I Cry When My Boyfriend Leaves Long Distance?

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Girl wearing red hoodie sitting on her bed - Why Do I Cry When My Boyfriend Leaves Long Distance?

Any type of relationship is challenging, but long-distance relationships have whole new challenges attached to them. 

The fact that you are not always with this individual can lead to a lot of anxiety and stress, especially when they’re leaving. So why do you cry when your boyfriend leaves to go back home while you live far away?

On a scientific level, hormones released into your body, like oxytocin and vasopressin, help build attachments and are attached to the reward-related areas in our brain. So when the individual leaves, it’s like you are deprived of those hormones. 

On a mental level, not being able to have the person you love close to you at all times can be quite taxing on your emotional health. But let’s take a deep dive into why this happens, if it’s healthy, and ways you can help combat this separation anxiety.


Is it Normal to Cry When Your Long Distance Boyfriend Leaves?

It is very normal that when you are dealing with a long-distance boyfriend, and you have spent some time together, and it’s time for him to go, you’re going to cry. 

This is because the release of certain hormones in your body triggers an emotional reaction to not having someone you want to be.

That means that it is perfectly OK for you to cry when they leave. There is nothing abnormal about this; unless it affects your everyday life for days, let yourself feel that feeling.


Is it Normal to Miss Your Boyfriend All the Time?

It is especially normal to miss your boyfriend all the time when you aren’t with them in close proximity. 

If, on the other hand, they’re there all the time and you miss them for simple things like when they go out with friends for a few hours, then it may become an issue, and it shows that there may be unhealthy attachment styles within the relationship.

But as we said, in relation to a long-distance relationship, it is perfectly normal for you to be sad and a little upset when they leave. In between visits, you will naturally miss this person.


How Do You Cope With Missing Your Partner?

No matter what type of relationship you’re in, there’s gonna be times when you miss your partner. Doing this obsessively, though, can be unhealthy, so having the skills to cope with the missing partner is very helpful. 

So we thought we’d put together a couple of suggestions for you that might help you cope with missing your partner, whether they live 2 miles or 200 miles away.

The best way to do this is to make sure you keep your mind busy, so here are three ways you can cope with missing your partner:


  • Schedule time with your family and friends. By keeping your mind and body active with your family and friends, you may find you have less time to dwell on the absence of your partner.
  • Start a new hobby or maybe devote more time to your current hobbies. Allowing yourself to do things you love while keeping your mind busy will help you cope with the fact that your partner is not there with you.
  • Have you been meaning to start a new workout routine? Or maybe beginning to meditate? Finding ways to distract yourself with exercise or mindfulness activities can help you get healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally.


Why Do You Get Anxiety When Your Boyfriend Leaves?

Having the tools to cope with it won’t help unless you understand why you get anxious when your boyfriend leaves to go home. There are a lot of reasons why adults in relationships have separation anxiety. Here are a few of the most common:


  • During childhood, you may have developed anxious attachment issues due to traumatic situations or the way you were raised.
  • A lot of people develop trauma responses when they have had huge losses or changes in their life.
  • Mental health issues like codependence could be involved in the anxiety you feel. You may feel that you must be with your partner at all times, which could cause anxiety, especially in a long-distance relationship.
  • Perhaps you’ve had struggles within your relationship or past relationships that have created trauma responses like separation anxiety or fear of not knowing what is going on at the other end of the long-distance relationship at all times.


How Do You Get Over Separation Anxiety With Your Long-Distance Boyfriend?

When your boyfriend doesn’t live close to you, and there are periods of time we don’t see each other, there’s bound to be some sadness and tears shed because you don’t have the person you love near you. 

But separation anxiety can cause a lot of mental and even physical health issues, so trying to figure out how to lessen it or get rid of it all together could be a life-saving skill.

Here are a few ways that you can start trying to overcome this anxiousness when your long-distance boyfriend leaves:


  • Allow yourself to feel the emotions so that you can acknowledge and accept them.
  • Odds are you’ve gone through this several times before, and you know what’s going to happen. So plan ahead and really try to build communications into helping you cope with not having them close by.
  • It’s always nice to keep things that remind you of them near you no matter what, but when you’re trying to cope with separation anxiety, this could help you alleviate some of that.
  • Try to keep yourself busy doing things that you love. When you’re happy, your body releases certain hormones, and this can come back. The other hormones are being released that cause anxiety and stress, which is what causes separation anxiety and those tears.


Final Thoughts on Why Do I Cry When My Boyfriend Leaves Long Distance

A long-distance relationship can be very challenging but worth it if you truly are enamored or in love with the other individual. 

However, you have to expect some sort of sadness and anxiety when you are apart because your mind, body, and heart all want to be with them all the time.

So crying when your boyfriend leaves to go home is quite normal. However, you don’t want it to take over your life and so to have the skills to be able to cope with your relationship but maintain your mental health.