Why Am I So Bad at Flirting Over Text?

Last Updated:

We may earn commissions for purchases made through links on our site. Learn more on our about us page.

Guy looking at his phone screen - Why Am I So Bad at Flirting Over Text?

Flirting has changed over the past several decades because of cell phones. Now you no longer have to worry about being bad at flirting in person but over text as well.

There are some key things, though, that you can look at to see why you might be so bad at flirting over text. Just like with flirting in person, flirting over text can be awkward and make you very unsure of yourself.

That lack of self-confidence and ability to read a text without imposing your own tone on it can lead to some pretty frustrating moments. But there are ways you can work to improve your texting and you’re flirting.

So keep reading if you suffer from bad flirting “textitis,” and we will try to help you as best we can. Like anything else, it is a skill, and with a little work, we’re sure you’ll wind up being a master at flirting over text.


Is Being a Bad Texter a Red Flag?

There are a lot of things that you have to pay attention to when you are in a relationship. These are often called red flags; some consider a bad texture a red flag.

If this is an important factor of your relationship, then yes, someone who is a bad texter, whether that be they don’t respond quickly enough or simply don’t respond well, could be a red flag and a sign that this relationship could not work in the long run.

But if it’s something that you can overlook, being a bad texter is not so much about being bad in a relationship but rather having a few issues when it comes to communication.

Or it could just be that the individual is uncomfortable with texting or thinks it’s a necessity in a relationship.

In the end, whether this is going to be an issue or not is really up to you and what you expect from a relationship. So as we said, if you consider texting an important aspect of your relationship and they are bad textures, then yes, it could very well be a red flag for you.


How Do You Flirt Without Being Awkward Over Text?

Many people find flirting, in general, a very awkward situation. Whether it’s because they don’t feel comfortable due to a lack of self-confidence or lack of experience, it doesn’t matter. That awkwardness that you feel flirting in person is transmitted directly to texting.

Sometimes texting can be even more awkward because you can’t see the facial expressions nor always understand the tone of the texts being replied to. That being said, we have a few tips that might help you make you are flirting a little less awkward, especially over text:


  • Make sure you have a good opener. The opening flirt, even over text, is gonna set the tone for the rest of the conversation. So don’t be lazy and be open to asking genuine questions to get the ball rolling.
  • You must fill out the conversation to decide how much and how frequently you use emojis.


Emojis can be very flirty if done appropriately. However, only utilizing them and over-utilizing them can seem childish and like you’re not taking the conversation seriously.


  • You must be comfortable if you use dirty language or sexting. This can make a situation very awkward, and you need to read the conversation to see if that’s the way it’s going. If you happen to jump the gun, it could make things very awkward.


How Can You Flirt Better Through Text?

The skills when it comes to flirting are the same whether you’re doing it in person or through text. The only difference is that you don’t have anything to work off of when you are texting someone.

Even still, these tips should help you improve your flirting capabilities, especially if it’s done through texts:


  • Short and sweet is always best. In other words, keep the message simple and yet flirty.
  • Try to keep things in a positive and lighthearted mood.
  • Be complementary but not too overly complimentary.
  • Try using playful language and even asking playful questions.


How Do You Flirt Smartly?

Just like with any aspect of a relationship, you can strategize on how to flirt better and more efficiently through text. In addition, there are tips and tricks you can utilize that many relationship experts are willing to impart to you.

Heading to head out to do those, we thought we’d put together a couple of tips that should help you flirt more efficiently and effectively:


  • Maybe the most important is confidence. The belief that you can flirt and flirt effectively enough to make your crush feel those butterflies in their stomach is half the battle.


If you have a lack of confidence, you’re never going to be able to flirt well.


  • Genuinely care about what they’re saying.


Though it’s hard to imply tone through a text, asking follow-up questions and paying attention to things they say to follow up at a later date could potentially allow the flirting to be better and help you build a stronger relationship.


  • Understand their language. Everybody has their own specific love languages and ways that they show affection. Understanding your partners can help you flirt more smartly.
  • Lastly, the best tip we can give you is to just be yourself. If they’re talking with you and getting to know you, trying to pretend to be something you’re not could eventually end up cutting your relationship short.


How Do You Flirt Smoothly?

Being smooth when you’re flirting can be challenging. This is especially true for those that maybe are a little more awkward and lack self-confidence in this arena.

But just like with being able to flirt more efficiently and effectively, you can also train yourself to do it more smoothly.

If you follow these tips, you will eventually find yourself just naturally flirting through text, and this will make for a much smoother relationship. Here are some tips that we think can help you be smoother when you’re flirting:


  • Just like we said above, being yourself is probably the best option. Trying to be someone you are not going to be less than smooth. In fact, it could lead to some very awkward situations and put you in places you don’t want to be.
  • Try not to focus so much on it. Just make it a casual conversation, and the text should flow smoothly if it’s meant to be.
  • Try to keep the conversations light and real. This is, after all, a way for you to get to know each other, and even if you’re trying to flirt while texting, sometimes the best flirt is caring about what they’re saying.


Final Thoughts on Why Are You So Bad at Flirting Over Text

Being a bad texture is not a bad thing, period. It simply means that you are uncomfortable or have issues with communication.

There are ways to work around being a bad texture, and we have given you several great tips to help you out. We hope that this has a major texting game a little stronger!