The idea of a long time commitment can be very scary for a lot of people. There are many factors why someone may not want to marry their significant other. Whether that is a fear of commitment or simply a lack of belief in the institution of marriage, it is personal.
But if your significant other doesn’t want to get married, it may be challenging for you to understand why. She may not want to get married because she doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage.
Some believe that a simple piece of paper is not a true form of commitment. Some people may not want to get married because of trust issues, and others may not want to get married due to financial reasons.
No matter what the reason is, understanding why she doesn’t want to marry you may be key in either maintaining a relationship or moving on to one that is better suited for your particular thoughts and desires.
What Can You Do About It?
When it comes to what you can do about it, there’s not much you can do if it’s just a philosophical disagreement with the idea of marriage period, but there are some steps you can do to help you understand the situation better.
Here are a few ideas that we suggest you try:
- The very first thing you need to do is sit down and decide what you’re looking for. If you love this person, are you able to deal with the fact that there may not be a marriage in your future? If you can do that, then you’re in a good place. If you’re not, then it may be time to reassess the relationship.
- Sit down to explain why they feel this way. Understanding their perspective could help you see a way through this hurdle.
- If it is something concerning past traumas or relationships, there is always the option of seeing if they’re willing to do couples counseling. Couples counseling could potentially help them work through the issues that are blocking them from wanting to take that next step.
How Should You Deal With It?
Dealing with a partner who’s not open to marriage may be a deal breaker for some. How you deal with this situation is really dependent on what you are capable of accepting and what you and your partner can work through.
But the very first step, as we said above, is to sit and understand your feelings. Then you need to sit with your feelings and decide if there is a way forward, considering your desire for further commitment.
Also, taking it with your partner about how that makes you feel and why they feel that way, as we said above, is vital.
With open communications, perhaps there is a way that you can work through these issues and find a way to create a commitment that works for both of you.
Should You Try to Convince Her to Marry You?
The truth is you can’t convince someone to marry you if they are not open to the idea. But, of course, you can always work through trust issues and traumatic stress triggers to change their outlook on the institute of marriage period that is possible to do.
If you are truly in love with them and you know they are in love with you, and it’s not a philosophical disagreement with the idea of marriage, then these hurdles could potentially be overcome.
It would not be so much you convincing her to marry you but rather you working together to create an idea of what your future commitment looks like.
Can You Love Someone and Not Want to Marry Them?
In the end, their desire not to get married will most likely have nothing to do with you. In truth, it is more about issues that they have within themselves and potentially, as we’ve said above, a philosophical disagreement with the institute of marriage itself.
It is very easy to love someone and not have that type of commitment, period, as there are plenty of other types of commitments in which you can invest your time. Commitment doesn’t have to do with a piece of paper or a legal right to use someone else’s name.
It is about giving your heart and soul to someone and being there for them no matter what the situation. I’m just going.
Should You Break Up?
Breaking up should be the very last thing on your she-married Chad list of things that could potentially happen due to Your differences in commitment. However, before it gets to that level, there should be an open dialogue on how you feel and how they feel.
You could very well be able to work through your issues and find ways to achieve that commitment without walking down the aisle.
Or perhaps the trust or other traumatic issues that your partner has can come with a little couples therapy period. If you truly love each other, there should be work done before getting to the point of separation.
Final Thoughts on She Doesn’t Want to Marry You
If she doesn’t want to marry you, there could be many different reasons. However, addressing them and understanding her fears and thoughts could very well allow you guys to overcome this hurdle.
In the end, marriage is not the only form of commitment, and if you’re able to work through it and find a compromise, you may find you have a bright future.