Everyone wants to believe they’re good at handling money, but that’s not always the case. You may think that your girlfriend’s financial situation isn’t that big of a deal, but when you start living together, it may lead to more fights than you were hoping.
Finances can be an awkward and tricky conversation if you don’t know how to come about it. It can feel like the lovey-dovey phase is over when the adult problems begin. But, if you want to help your girlfriend gain financial control, you’ve come to the right place.
How Do You Discuss it With Her?
If you want to start discussing finances, start slow and ease your way into the topic. Some couples find that if you make the conversation a big deal, especially when neither of you has talked about it before, it gets harder to compromise.
If you see that she is spending way more than she’s making, talk about how you’re worried about the potential financial situations you might be in later. But, again, it’s better to come up with a plan before you start mixing both of your money.
How Can You Help Her?
First, have a good conversation where she can be open about her struggles with money. Then, come up with ways that she can save money, such as separating a portion of her paycheck into a second account or a savings account.
If that doesn’t work, help her build a budget sheet. Sometimes, seeing how much money you’re spending can be a wake-up call. If you find that you’ve come up with many solutions and none of them seem to be working, perhaps you can call a professional financial advisor.
Where Do You Start?
Start with asking how her bills look. Does she have a car payment? Is she living on her own? Then, if you find the root cause of where most of her money is going, it’ll be easier to see where she spends money.
Then start with small things like cutting out treats she might be getting. If you find that she comes home with Starbucks every day, it might be time for an intervention. If things need to get more extreme, see if she’s willing to cut a few credit cards and put them out of sight.
What are the Things You Shouldn’t Say?
One of the biggest things you should not do is yell at her for being bad with money. Unfortunately, not everyone gets properly taught how money management works, so staying calm and working with her is essential to get her in a better place.
Another thing you shouldn’t do is make the conversation all about her. She may be the one who is terrible with money, but nobody wants to feel like they’re a big problem in the relationship. Talk to her as if it’s a joint problem you can tackle together.
When is the Right Time to Talk About it?
While I don’t think there will ever be a “right time” to talk about it, the sooner you have financial conversations, the better you will understand the expectations about the relationship. It’s good to set boundaries, including the money situation.
Many people think that money talk can make or break a relationship. While that may be true, it’s important to note that when a couple starts talking about how to stabilize their financial situation, it can bring them closer together.
Final Thoughts on Girlfriend That’s Bad with Money
It’s hard being in a relationship, especially if your partner is not good at handling her own money. If you’re ready to take the next step but are worried about how she manages her finances, start the conversation sooner rather than later.
Help her develop solutions like a budget sheet or putting a portion of her paycheck into a second account. If she’s spending a lot on treating herself, talk to her to better manage the money.
Be sure not to yell about it and try to make it sound like it’s a problem you can both tackle rather than a situation that she can handle on her own.
While there’s not a perfect time to bring it up, you should have the money conversation early, as it can bring couples closer together.